ramblings, basically.
Song: A1 - ScaredThe one thing that I'm scared of is losing hold of you
I get the shivers down my spine, feel my body turning blue
The feeling is so frightening, it's driving me insane
The one thing that I'm scared of is losing hold of you
Man, I miss those a1 songs. Tomorrow, Living the Dream... lovely singing them again! :D
There's something wrong with my brain these days, I swear. Just a little bit of challenge in school, I end up going home with a headache that won't leave until I get at least 5hours of sleep at night, only then would I wake up to find the headache gone. Something's wrong! Hmm...
AND, I'm putting on weight again. Haha, shucks. I think the thing people say about having enough sleep helps weight loss is true! Ugh. I need to jog again soon. And cycle! Somebody, go cycling with me!!!
And as the week is ending, i'm constantly mentally reminding myself - 2 weeks to o's prac, 4 weeks to o's. Holy shit, that's so soon! *switches to panic mode* I hardly see 4 weeks as sufficient time. Yet, when it comes to usual exams I only start studying like a 2weeks (max) before. This is baaaad. :p
But since today we didn't receive any papers (and unlikely tomorrow either) I was in a much better mood. Much, much better mood. Went home with a much better mood too. If we're getting literature elective paper back tomorrow, I don't think I'd be leaving school that happily. Yet there's no logic in delaying the bad news, since I'm gonna need time to snap out of it once it hits me. Gah. Unleash all of them now, I can deal with them quicker!
Anyway was doing this QSE (no idea what it stands for) survey today at school. It's regarding our views on the school. There was this bit on whether we think the school's helped us in gaining self-confidence. To think about it, it definitely has helped a whole lot! In sec 1 I was this meek
(scaredy), quiet
(introverted introvert), innocent
(gullible) girl who feared anything and everything. I wanted to be invisible half the time, didn't like mixing around much. I squeaked my way through sec 1, keeping all to myself, not wanting to respond in class, not wanting to take up any forms of responsibilities, wanted to not be known in school at all. Just look through me like you see nothing, please!
Nearing the end of the 4th year, I see myself mixing around a lot more. Speaking up a
whole lot more. I raise questions, thoughts and views a
whole lot more. I still do fear a lot of things but it doesn't mean I'm a wimp cos I usually tide through it anyway - sometimes on my own. With a huge truck of experience I gained from this school, I don't see myself opening up like that if I were in some other school - co-ed schools mainly. So, I may say bad things about single-ed schools cos it does have its bad points, like people getting extremely wild. Who's to say single-ed schools have more 'wild' people than co-ed schools anyway? I thought so, until I heard stories from co-ed schools. :p So, if given a choice, I think I would send my child to a single-ed
secondary school. Primary school should be a given opportunity to mix around a little more. I know I hated guys in primary school (lol some people sure know about this)! I guess it'd be better to join a school with guys when they've umm stabilised in the maturity level. *chuckle* The whole so-and-so likes so-and-so rubbish in school can drive me nuts!
Anyhow I think I'm really gonna miss being able to sit with our legs open, whether we're wearing shorts or not, anywhere around in school at the end of the year. I'm gonna miss screaming at friends, calling one another a bimbo. I'm gonna miss sitting around in class with a whole bunch of friend bitching about some people on tv, and ogling at some hottie on tv together. While I know that can continue wherever I go next year, it's gonna be less, and weird cos we'll be judged by other *snicker* gender around with *snicker* varying maturity.
*cough* I'm sorry I don't have the resistance against immature guys. I have this
huge thing against them. :)
Anyhow, can't quite imagine how it'll be like next year. I'm gonna miss my friends dearly. :( And of course we'll tell each other to keep in contact. But who's to know what'll happen when you're blown away to different schools, with crazy schedules and tests and exams! It'll definitely be tougher when you used to see each other everyday...
As I Sink Further Into Depression...
I really am just plain sick and tired. Of the whole routine. Study, study, study. Eventually getting grades I'm barely satisfied with. And for the third consecutive day, all I've been getting is bad news, bad news and more bad news.
I seriously doubt my chances of going anywhere for the first 3 months.
I seriously doubt the possibility of 'good news' coming my way anytime soon either.
And, I seriously doubt I'll hang in there, and hold through the entire receiving of prelims results without shedding a tear. Cos time and time again, I find myself struggling to brush it aside, putting on a smile and just moving on. It's become such a habit that I find it almost easy to smile even when I'm unhappy. That may be a good 'front' to put on but ultimately I don't think it's gonna be great.
Bio paper 1's pretty screwed up too. I wouldn't have fretted about it so much if I were more confident of my paper 2 and practical. Unfortunately I was pretty much depending on paper 1 to pull them all up. At the rate this is going, I doubt I can use Bio for one of the R5. Which means I'm pretty much dead because my Physics paper 2... I'm really hoping to pass that paper. And that says a lot - to hope I pass. Apart from Chinese, I don't ever just hope to pass. I want my grades, I do!
Don't think I'll be getting back any papers tomorrow, which may be a good thing to break the chain of consecutive days filled with bad news. At least finally it's a day I don't feel like I may cry.
Bless the people who've been trying to cheer me up. :) Let's face it, I'm hardly optimistic when it comes to my own achievements. Not because I have a low self-esteem or anything. Just that somehow when it comes to such shite, it just doesn't work out for me. Sucks.
That aside, I just need to rant that's all. I don't need people telling me it's my fault, that I brought it upon myself. I don't need people to tell me it's okay because it's not. And I don't need people to tell me that I'll be fine cos I'm cheery and smart and all that. It's just gonna make me realise I'm not, and it sucks more than it already is. And if your comfort may just make me cry out of sheer guilt. So I don't really need comments on this. I just needed this blog for its aim - an avenue to rant when I need it.
But no worries, knowing how I've always been, I'll snap out of this pathetic state of wallowing in self-pity in time to come. The whole oh-i'm-so-poor-thing-i'm-screwed-i'm-gonna-die thing pisses me off sometimes but it just is inbuilt. :p I shall snap out of it soon and realise it's only a waste of time. Big thanks to those who've been listening. :)
So far, I've gotten back our chinese paper 2 and social studies paper. How was it? Well, I failed my chinese paper 2 and I almost failed social studies. How freaking great is this eh? I'm gonna stay home for the first 3 months and my brother's gonna kill me.
Faaaaabulous. Simply fabulous. I was on the verge of crying today but was cheered up later on. Haven't cried for school/grades in a while... guess that's no biggie for those who knew me back then.
But again, this scares me because I have only one humanities subject to rely on. And I've just screwed up half the component. Unlikely to score for literature elective, really. Likely to get more terribly done papers to come. This sucks big time.
So, think before you ask me 'how are you?' lest I start snapping at you with my sucky grades and sucky mood. Unpleasant. I have a feeling I'm gonna hit my target L1R5 score with just 2 or 3 subjects. Just great.
Bloody Blogger made me re-sign in after I made a super long entry. Faggoty ughhhhhhhhh. It was like super duper long! :( I can't be arsed anymore cos I'm tired. So let's just mention the highlights of the day!
We were basically thrown back into reality after returning from the weekend just after prelims. Our temporary liberation, we call it. Only to find out it really was temporary. In fact, it just lasted 2 days. 2 lousily short days. Let's just say we were warmly welcomed back by the following reminder.
'3 weeks to Practicals, 5 weeks to the O's.'Why, thank you for the lovely reminder. I'd love to hear that after an absolutely short weekend. :) Thank you, school, thank you. I love you to bits. :)
===========
Psst... Bi Xia did this friendster questionaire that I was reading, and it suddenly hit me that...
31. Favourite website(s)?
` my blog. frenster. xiaxue's blog. darling's blog. ah huang's blog. manda. hotmail.
I WAS LISTED! awwwwwwwwww. *touched* :)
Unfair Battle Of The Sexes
Let's face it. It's an unfair world. There isn't much of an 'equality' between the sexes. Several reasons to state my stand. I'm not gonna go all feminist here cos these are facts. General facts.
- Women with bushy eyebrows are often criticised. Men? Colin Farrell isn't getting insulted, is he? Peter Gallagher, sure they poke fun of it here and then.
- If men jump into the pool with their tops and boardshorts, it's okay. If women jump into the pool with their tops and boardshorts, the guys go, "where's your bikini?" Well, you don't hear the girls going, "where're your trunks?" do ya?
- Men who are plump don't get mentioned. Women who are plump? "Oh god, she's fat and she's wearing that?" followed by perpetual "Eew"s.
- When females have hard palms / fingers, guys give looks. When guys have hard palms / fingers, they're thought to have had a hard life, and are worth ogling at like they're tough men!
- Women who don't shave are given looks. Men? Please. Just watch an NBA game.
- Women with no make-up are called 'plain janes'. Men, on the other hand, would be teased if they had make-up. See, the thing is, the women have to put on something in order not to be teased.
- That leads us to another point. Women have to spend tons! On make-up - cleansers, moisturizers, foundations, eyeshadow, blushers, lipsticks, lip gloss, etc. On grooming - tweezers, eye-lash curlers, etc.
- AND, women are often given less money. Just daily examples, like siblings. Chances are, the brothers are gonna get a lot more money!
Heh, I was walking towards the hairdressers and suddenly all of these popped into my mind. I'm quite sure there were more but knowing how terrible my memory is (since Seige wasn't around with me)... well, true enough isn't it! :p Many things for women are a 'must-have' or a 'must-do'. Many things for men are optional.
[Ooh, and so someday I'm gonna get sued for being sexist by some chauvinist organisation and then this blog shall close down. lol]
I'm just being lame cos I'm tired. I need more sleep. So I'll be back with post-mugging period, part 2 when I'm a little less... braindead.
And oh yes, had a haircut today. Chopped off about 2 inches. The hairdresser didn't really get my point when I said I want it short. She basically gave it a trim and then layered it more when I told her I wanted it shorter. So I just trimmed it myself (it's amazing it's not slanted or anything at the back!) and now it's more or less the length I planned it to be. Would've been shorter if I didn't have to tie it at school! Just the sudden urge to chop it all off! :p Think it would've been triggered off by Zheya's haircut or I'd never have gotten down to cutting it. Ha!
Song: Sum 41 - In Too DeepOoh, good good day. Not that the 2 papers I had today were great. But it's always great to know you're only left with a paper and you can't study for it. (I think, anyway!) And you're free for at least a month!! Ooh-la-la!
Was out today *sparkle* caught The Cave with a dear. Had a good time, as always. But that show gave me creeps. I had both hands on my mouth like two-thirds through the show. Those creatures...
Oh yeah, I have a new reader who doesn't comment, but has a problem with my Singlish so I shall umm abstain from using Singlish around here. Rar. :p You know who you are, ha!Oh that reminds me. For some reason, today, during the papers, whenever the invigilators suddenly pops into the mic and says, "Put down your pens." I'd literally jump out of my seat. Gosh, the fright.
Oh yes yes yes yes!!! I finally weigh below 50kg :p (So random!) Just a few hundred grams but whatever! Oh ho ho ho ho *grin* Shall watch my diet. I wanna go on Villa Wellness and find out my fat mass. And make sure it goes down. :p Gah. Anyway..
Going out with Audrey & Elise tomorrow possibly to catch Cinderella Man at town after the lockup for the Physics practical tomorrow. Hopefully we don't have another irresponsible bugger, causing us to be locked in longer than usual, as of Wednesday. (5 freaking hours in the studio is
not enjoyable.) I'm tired now but I'd rather be tired from activities during the day than to be tired after studying like some retard. Ha!
Stealing this off Marc's. :)
QUIZ.1. pick 1 of ur scars out now.. how did u get it?
Right eyebrow. Busy trying to climb up my un-climb-able wardrobe for the silliest reasons that you can't understand unless you're that age. I think I was about 5 or 6.2. What's on the walls of ur room?
Just wallpaper. My posters are never on the walls of my room, they're on my wardrobe instead. :)3. Would u rather play or watch football?
Hmm. If it's some interesting match, watch. (Or at least when I was crazy about watching the EPL for a while, I loved watching it.) But for now, I suppose, play!4. What sport would u say you're good at?
This is difficult. I suck at most of them. Maybe... just maybe... badminton? At least my best sport, though I might not be good at it.5. What's ur worst nightmare?
It's a tie between losing loved ones and random creatures, lots of them, attacking me for some godly reason.6. Apples or oranges?
Apple juice. Oranges - the fruit.7. Grapes or watermelons?
Seedless grapes. Heh, I'm lazy and spoilt, so sue me.8. Wolves or tigers?
wolves, I think.9. What sort of music do u listen to?
A great range of them. From pop to ballads to r&b to jazz to emo to alternative to punk rock. Just nowhere near metal or techno.10. Have u ever written poetry?
Yes!11. Do u remember birthdays?
Most of the time... I think.12. Do u know what time u were born?
Nope. Neither do I know my blood type.13. Do u have a birth mark? where?
Yup. Left foot, near the ankle.14. Are you a sweet person?
I think. Quite. :p (Just agree, damn it!)15. What were u doing b4 u started filling this in?
Bathing? Just got home!16. What's ur favourite gun?
Er, none. Water gun!19. Chocolate or vanilla ice-cream?
Choc, anytime.20. What is the first thing you notice on someone (opp sex)?
eyes / smile.21. What's ur fav smell?
something fruity.22. Fave sound that u hear often?
Those chimes that ring on the first of every month at noon. I think those come from the church nearby.23. What r u thinkin about right now?
Just wondering if I should panic since I'm not studying for tomorrow's paper. But if you think about it, there really isn't anything to be done. Hmm..24. What is ur fav disney movie of all time?
Finding Nemo. :p25. What colour are ur eyes?
Dark, dark brown.26. Have u ever slept with a stuffed animal?
Nope, I sneeze with them around. Sleep with tons of cushions though. I'm a cushion person :)27. What's the name of the stuffed anmal?
-28. Who was ur first crush wen u were little?
Ben Adams. *cough*29. What kind of hair do u like on the opp sex?
Depends on the person, really. But for Singaporeans, mostly short hair. *cough*30. Who out of ur friends (same sex) have u known the longest?
Seige, since the day I was born. Okay, cousins don't count. Perhaps Jasmine, since I was 11. I know of friends of the opposite sex even longer though.31. Sunrise or sunset?
sunset, cos I'm less... braindead during which.32. wat happened tis few days?
exams. papers galore. finally went out earlier. :)33. Movies?
just caught The Cave, and it was creeping me out slightly since it was getting dark, kept feeling like some weird creature will just swoop down and attack me. eek34. Where can u c urself goin for ur honeymoon?
anywhere lovely for sightseeing, or near the beach.35. Can u play an instrument?
guitar, averagely. keyboard, barely.36. Do u usually butt in peeps convy's?
Heh yes.36. Band/s?
boybands: a1, bsb, 'nsyncrockbands: 3 doors down, bon jovi, aerosmith, good charlotte, rooster, switchfootpunkbands: green day, bowling for soup, midtown38. What kind of books do u like to read?
romance novels39. Do u like poetry?
yes!40. How do u like ur coffee?
mostly sweet. hot or cold.
Song: Bon Jovi - Bad Medicine
Love this song. Especially this part, for some reason!
When you need
That's what you get for falling in love
Then you bleed
You get a little but it's never enough
On your knees
That's what you get for falling in love
Now I'm addicted and your kiss is the drug
=============
Some people deserve to be smacked, big time. I wasn't having the best day, to say the least. Numerous reasons.
1) I overslept on the bus.I hate oversleeping on the bus. Not that I know of anyone who likes it? But I get extremely panicky when I learn of missing my stop. Even if I know I'm darned early, I panick like some retarded fool.
2) I overslept on the bus and no schoolmate had the decency to wake me up.I was sitting on the second half of the bus, pretty near the door. I saw a few schoolmates, whom I don't know, sitting at the back. C'mon who are we kidding? If you can't recognise the school uniform, you deserved to be slapped. Twice. Striking green like that, and you can't identify your schoolmates? I could totally kick you to outer space.
So basically, assuming they aren't colourblind enough to miss me, they
deliberately walked off, walked
past me and alighted, leaving this poor tired soul to sleep alone on the bus. And when you see someone in their school uniform in those wee hours, chances are she
is going to school. No, she's not gonna elope with her boyfriend to some fancy hotel, cos she wouldn't be wearing to school uniform to start off with. Common sense, anyone?
Therefore, spotted sleeping girl + alighted happily on their own = major selfish buggers.
3) I had to take a cab to school.Why is that? Huh? Why? *Eager eyes widen with wonder* Oh that's an easy question. I overslept on the bus, and ended up on Nicoll Highway. BLOODY HELL! If I hadn't woken up, I might very well end up at Kent Ridge, since that's where the bus terminates anyway! And then, I'll miss my Chinese paper 2, and then I'll fail Chinese entirely. Okay maybe this doesn't matter since it's possible to fail it even after taking the paper, but at least I won't get an F9, yes?
And the cab driver was telling me it's his first time being flagged down on the highway cos apparently it's illegal. Oops. Sorry, this ignorant 16-year-old had no clue and she overslept. The funny part was, I was rubbing my eyes struggling to open my eyes. The cabby thought I was offended when he said stuff about it being illegal and all. He immediately apologised and stopped talking about it, and told me, "No offence ah?" before I alighted. Hahahaha I think he thought this 16-year-old's gonna cry!
4) I had really bad papers today.Chinese was a complete disaster. 10 questions to fill in words, I only knew 2. 5 phrases, I knew 2. 5 sentences to construct, I knew 1. Wow, I'm truly impressed with myself. Okay, I suppose there's a possibility by some miraculous measure I'll score for some questions, but there's no way I'm gonna score well. I should've expected it, I guess.
A Maths was really, really bad. I depend on both Maths a lot because they're the only ones I can secure distinctions through my Sec school years. So anytime it's screwed up, it pisses me off badly. I
need them.
5) Encountered a bunch of monkeys on the bus.Let's just say I felt like shouting, "Act your species, you retards." You're freaking homosapiens. It was this particular secondary school bus stop when the whole gang boarded the bus. This guy and girl sat on the bench in front of me. They're obviously together, guy's arm around the girl, them whispering into each other's ears.
And what happens? This 2 guys (one of them sat next to me, the other stood) bugged him non-stop. They pulled his hair (or at least tugged it), whacked his arm, kept touching his face, poking him, disturbing every second of the couple-time they possibly could. They would then laugh and shout at each other, as they have one ear occupied while they shared their mp3 player.
There were 2 other girls sitting on the bench in front of the couple. And when I wanted to go feminist, I couldn't because they were as irritating as the guys! The couple would bend down so they could hide behind the bench in front, continue chatting with each other. The girls were always facing the back, so they could tug on the guy's hair, shove their face into what little private space they had, trying to listen. And then the two guys next to me would do that too.
I swear to god, if I had such friends, I would shout at them to piss off for like 5 minutes. And then I was tired, I shut my eyes for like half a minute. I could feel the guy sitting next to me bouncing on the chair. Apparently, he had his face stuck in front of mine, and was headbanging furiously in front of my head. Little did he realise my eyes were already open. He turned at realised I was staring at him. Then he got slightly embarrassed, he withdrew and looked at me. Obviously, I continued staring at him for a while, astonished by such retarded actions. He then said, "Sorry eh? Sorry, heh heh."
Because I had two ear phones stuck in my ear, I think he thought I didn't hear it cos I went on staring at him. He repeated his apologies a few times. I then looked away. While looking away, I
accidentally rolled my eyes. I swear it wasn't intentional but heck, they deserved it. So the guy next to me stopped being such an arse thereafter. Whee.
But the other guy, standing, continued being a complete idiot, bugging the guy non-stop. And the girl. He'd grab the guy's arm that's around the girl, wave it about so it shakes the girl too. Then tug his hair, shout, try to listen to their conversation, etc. That couple sure has a heck of a tolerance level.
They were in shorts, no surprise. Lower sec buggers trying to disturb me on a bad day? Not a chance. I refused to even attempt to sleep on the bus, no thanks to them. Why should I let them gain pleasure out of my ignorance, eh? Now, scoot off!
=====
Anyhow, the prelims are sooooooo draggy. I'm so bored. Not that I don't need the time to study, cos I do. It's just taking so damn long to end. UGH.
Too Little Time, Too Much To Do
Song: 3 Doors Down - Here Without You
What do you do on the eve of a Chemistry Practical exam?
I watch Freaky Friday on Disney Channel. *beam* That, by the way, is where I learnt of the existence of Chad Michael Murray. lol
(Random)
Anyhow, 4 more days to go, I've gone berserk. I'm madly planning time and have found out that I have too little time for anything. I'm cramming my days of going out. :p Thursday I'll be out since Friday is Physics practical and it's nearly impossible to study for that, I should think. Friday I'll be out. Saturday I'll be out after those career talks at school. Hopefully the career talks help to
show me the light... So I will stop worrying about having a bleak future due to the lack of an aim.
After this week, I have about 3 weeks of school, 2 weeks of study leave before the big O's begin. After the big O's I have a week before prom. And then I have a week before December begins. And I'm still considering taking a job for the month of December, if I manage to find anyone to hire me full-time for a month. I can be of quite some help for a month, I should think. :p And after that? First 3 months begin...
That's if I make it to anywhere actually. I wouldn't really mind if I end up nowhere for the first 3 months. *cough* I'd be ecstatic to have 3 months spare. I can plan all day on what I can do during those 3 months. I swear I hate the policy change, of only implementing the idea of abolishing the first-3-months policy for the batch after ours. Talk about unlucky.
And during that week before prom, and week before December, I'm gonna squish in chalets and
possible trips abroad to nearby places for a holiday. And of course, going out non-stop to shop, etc, to make up for all the miserable time prior to O's. I really wanna work cos I wanna earn my own money this holidays so I can spend without worrying, that's why I'm setting aside a month. Even if it's gonna pay quite little, something is better than nothing!
Too little time, too much to do. I want more holidays. :(
What happens when you put
me at home... alone... for dinner?
Appetizer
Main course
Dessert
Oh pardon me I'm almost never at home alone, with no food, so I seldom get to make full use of the soaring high creativity level in me to do such stuff :p Doesn't it look good? Okay, the appetizer doesn't look good in the picture but we all know coleslaw's yummy. Main course is just bread, hotdog, omelette and lettuce. Seige thought I looked like a true American eating that. Like some gourmet competition while I tried to roll it and stuff it in my mouth. Hahahaa...
Lots of greens, I know. I didn't know 2 leaves of lettuce was so much. Didn't look that much when I was washing it... but... I was wrong! So I had nowhere else to stuff it in my main dish so I stuffed it together with my coleslaw ;-)
And fruits were obviously apples and bananas. Couldn't be arsed to add oranges. Bananas are so much easier to dice. :p
Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go enjoy the peace at home. It's short-lived. :p
[Edit]
Oh no!!! I've no lanterns for tomorrow!! And we've ran out of Mrs Fields' brownie mooncakes! (I dislike the normal mooncakes by the way. I hate the skin of it. But the brownies inside makes up for the skin :p) Oh nooooooooooooooo.
[/Edit]
Song: Backstreet Boys - Like A Child
I don't think I actually have 'plans' on scoring Physics tomorrow. Cos I haven't started! *applauds self* :p And I think I screwed my only humanities up! (That being said, many thanks to Bi Xia and co for giving me tips to study today. Last minute cramming did help slightly! I would've panicked further if not for them today *grin*)
E Maths was okay, I think. Some uncertainties, but it was alright overall. Many said the paper was 'odd' though. It kinda worries me what people say about the paper sometimes. I'm beginning to think I may have overlooked certain questions. Fingers crossed!!!
Maaaaaaaaaaaaan. I've come so far! :p Goddess of Physics, give me determination to
chiong and score tomorrow. Physics is the only subject which I'm confident for the practicals. But what's the point if I scarcely pass my theories for Physics!!! Rar, okay don't lose focus. Back to studying.
YAY tomorrow's friday! *hop!* Absolutely excited. :) *grin seige*
PS: Was watching Laguna Beach last night. A brand new season, and my brother's hooked on that show. I think he's about to get me hooked too, but it has to be said, some people there are UNBELIEVABLY BITCHY. The bitchy level just soars into space! I can't stand it! Absolutely zero consideration. And the girl just plays the guy around, bitches about him and all that, then tries to call him up later but gets pissed off when he doesn't pick up her call. (In fact, this other girl switched off his phone for him when he showed her it was that girl who called.)
Unbelievably cynical, hypocritical and bitchy. What an eye-opener. I hope it's not because I've been really naive not to know of such people around but instead such people are few in numbers on this Earth. I know of bitchy people but her extent is WOAH. *cringe*
For those who watch Laguna Beach, I'm referring to Kristin. :p I have this huge grudge against her now, but my brother's blind to it cos he thinks she's hot. No wonder such girls succeed most of the time - with such guys around!
smuggled off bixia's.
Your word is SHIT. You are laid back and relaxed,
and most people like you. You don't especially
want to stand out from the crowd, you are
pretty happy with your lot.
Which Swear (Curse) Word Are You? brought to you by Quizilla:p pretty damn right!
shit scared for literature paper tomorrow. I've only just begun studying.
Insects Galore. Dead ones.
Song: OTT - Let Me In
Oh god. They had thermal fogging in my area this morning, so what did I come home to? Walking paths filled with scattered cockroach corpses. You have NO IDEA how traumatizing that is. I was going, "holy crap" continuously, trying hard not to step on any of them. They came in all sizes, the tiniest one looked like some housefly, the largest one... EEW.
That was this tiny path under one of the flats I walk through to get to my block. And it wasn't long till I realised the void decks of both the neighbouring block and my block were filled with cockroaches too. How fricking sick is that? I was so disturbed, I turned to the road and walked on it instead.
And when I scrambled and immediately entered the lift when I could, I thought all was over. While walking along the corridor to my house, I saw this gigantic dragonfly (yes I swear to god. Slightly green in colour, super long body, 4 little wings - 2 on each side.) lying motionless on the floor. Holy mother of god. I can stand insects, really. I can. I can only take them in small dosages though. An entire flock of it a day can scare the hell out of me.
So basically I saw more cockroaches today than I did in my entire life. No exaggeration here. I hope the thermal fogging killed more mosquitoes than it did cockroaches so people will get less paranoid about the spread of dengue fever. Fingers crossed.
PS: I have lost all interest to study. Shit. Lit paper on Thursday and I have yet to start
at all. I'm panicking here, I am. Lots of people I don't wanna let down. This SUCKS.
The weather is CRAZY. The lightnings wouldn't stop striking, thunders keep roaring, pouring heavily... Everytime there's weather like this, I get reminded of
War of the Worlds, it kind of scares me.
I know, I sound like such a wimp sometimes. Still!
I'm convinced the lightning is gonna strike
ME as it approaches my neighbourhood. Like literally through the windows and strike me, since the windows are open anyway (the rain doesn't get in here).
Still, the weather isn't exactly cool... we have damned weathers, don't we? Where is the silver lining behind this dark cloud, or scary weather for that matter?
P/S: Bio paper 2 today. And it sucked. And we wonder when the prelims are gonna take a turn for the better eh? Chinese paper 1 tomorrow and A Math. Oh god.
And I hate my seat in the hall. The huge fan is blowing me directly. Into my eyes. And its strong wind keeps blowing my papers away, I have difficulty flipping my papers. Those tense moments, I take like half a minute to flip a page. That's very, very bad. And I have been using everything I can to prevent my papers from flying off, especially since pencil cases are to be left on the floor, with only necessary stationery on the table. HOW, tell me, HOW!!
Oh fricking god I just saw an entire lightning strike. As it all way through that thin bright light from top down. That is just plain scary. The other day I almost managed to take a picture of that! Just seconds too slow.
Things You Get When You're 22
Song: Westlife - What I Want Is What I GotDon't gasp at me just because I'm listening to Westlife, you lot. It could be a whole lot worse. *grin* You'll see.
Anyway surprise aside, what I got for my brother is a Take 5 album, an OTT album and a James Herriot book. :p Imagine the look on his face when he tore open the wrapper and saw Take 5 glaring at him. First thought must've been
holy sh*t. *grin* Then he saw OTT and said he must tell the other cousin who grew up with him listening to OTT. See? It's not so bad. I bought it so he could ummm reminisce the old days. *nods self*
Anyway they were 2nd hand. Best part is, the OTT album was autographed. On the CD sleeve and on the CD itself. How very awesome is that! Everybody, sing!
Be mine, mine forever girl... Come into my life, come share my world...Oh yeah there was this part I couldn't decide to get Take 5 or Aaron Carter. I think he's enjoying the Take 5 album now, so WHEW. Imagine him murdering me upon realising what I got him for his grand 22nd birthday. :p What a torture for turning 22. Bless him :p
I know I blog often. I'm having a week's break remember?
Nah who am I kidding. Break or not, I still blog often.
Anyhow..
snobby little junkbucket says:happy birthday baby brother!
QG - Dunzo says:yaysnobby little junkbucket says:how old do you turn? 10?
QG - Dunzo says:10000snobby little junkbucket says:awww such a cutie
Let's just say he looks too mature, and is way too old for his soul.
Nonetheless, since he turns 22 today, I'll do a nice treat for him. I'll tell the whole world how great a brother he is, despite the annoying imitation of my laughter every single time he catches me on the phone, or like how he'd diss me when I play the guitar. Or when he tells me I'm fat when he doesn't wanna share his food with me, and tells me I'm skinny when he wants me to finish up his yucky food. Or when he tries to boast about how great looking he is, and how he is
so Brad Pitt, hoping I would fall for that. Or when he acts super childish, and successfully annoys the crap out of me.
Hrmmm.
Oh yeah I was saying how great a brother he is. Even though we're 6 years apart...No scratch that. I think it's because we're 6 years apart, we're that close. Otherwise there'd just be far too many conflicts. Internal decay *guffaws* Sorry, just thought of that.
Since young, I guess even when my granny insists on keeping all benefits for him, he always doted on me. He'd always ensure that the baby sister-who-looked-like-a-baby-brother had what she needed first. He would take care of me, maybe because my parents force him to, that I wouldn't know for sure, since I wasn't able to register words in my head then. There were many photographs we kept of the old times, when I was this little one, and he'd be carrying me, or holding me. Several pictures even, we had same poses, and I would look up to him like I wanted to be just like him so very much.
Because we don't talk to our parents as much as normal kids do, I guess that's why we talk to each other a lot. About events. About thoughts,
even especially silly ones. About ambitions, about destinations we want to go to, about difficulties. No wait, difficulties would mainly be me whining, and he'd tell me how lousy I am, but never mind that.
All my life I grew up dependent on him, really. Whenever we wanted to make deliveries, formal phone calls, orders, etc, I would ask him to do it. Help me to do this. Help me to answer that. Help, help, help. And he would, with much reluctance each time, but he would still do them anyway. Until he found out I'm heading for an interactive job in future, then he had the way of persuading me to make my own phone calls. I then learnt how to deal with all that professionally. :p Though it has to be said, up till now, I still push a lot of phone calls to him. :)
And being the politically apathetic idiot I am, I rely on him as my number one source for many things. For news, for reasons to events happening around the world. He always seemed to know the answers to them. He always manages to give me the most complete and easy to understand explanations. He then realised I was getting lazy. I'd ask him for words I didn't understand and he hated being my dictionary. :p So he made me check up on everything myself. Snort.
The dependence doesn't end there. When he started rollerblading, he fell in love with it and made me rollerblade. From the bike shop to the road to the bridge, he was literally dragging me around. I clung onto him with all my might, and falling on my ass whenever I knew I would fall, but I decided I might as well fall first. He would be screaming at me to get up, to try again. When I did get the hang of it, I still refused to let him go, because he was my pillar of support! And finally I started dragging him down, causing him to fall whenever I fell. :) Smart me.
Oh, he also made me pick up tennis when he had this craze for tennis. I hated it because I never knew how to smash the ball back at him. It always went soaring into the sky before falling on the other side of the court. (It should always cross over just above the net, by the way.) And I would be extremely frustrated. He wasn't the best teacher either, honestly. But my perseverance level was kind of low. :p
Whenever we went out, I would grab his arm and he would hate it, shrugging it off whenever he could. When I tried to sleep on public transports, he would nudge me until I wake up. Or not give me a chance to sleep at all, for that matter. Whoops, I can't help it, I'm talking about the bad sides AGAIN.
Ummm, he's a great tutor. He's the best solution to my math problems. Except sometimes he can't solve them, he just pretends that he knew the answers but wanted me to figure them for myself. Umm.
And he's a great guy cos he saves Wonka chocolates for me every time. There. A brother I wouldn't trade for the world.
Happy Birthday, baby brother!
Why Katrina Is Made Worse Than It Already Is
I wanted to do an entry on Katrina but when I came online this morning, I realised Lianne beat me to it. Nonetheless, I still want to point out what is pissing me off.
Taken from the Straits Times.When a region in the U.S. is hit by a disaster, the local and the state authorities take charge. If they are overwhelmed, they ask the federal government for help and they cooperate at all three levels.
Unfortunately, when Katrina struck, that cooperation dissolved in acrimony and they all worked at cross-purposes.
Thus, to the chagrin of President Bush, Mayor Nagin delayed evacuating New Orleans until just 24 hours before Katrina struck.
And the dilatory Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco waited four days before sending in the National Guard, which was under her jurisdiction.
Late on Friday, a furious President Bush tried to overried Ms Blanco and take charge of the guard, but she stood firm. That caused relations between them to plummet, much to the dtriment of the victims, especially when Mr Bush then dallied over sending in the military.
Louisiana Senator Mary Landrieu then chastised Mr Bush for ignoring the earlier warnings to bolster the sea walls that protected New Orleans.
She even threatened to "punch" Mr Bush for trying to put the blame on the local and state authorities. As officials squabbled, the plight of the victims worsened.
Their loss of faith in authority contributed to the sense of despair and lawlessness. That in turn was exacerbated by charges of dishonesty and ineptitude.
The New Orleans Times-Picayune newspaper noted that while the government said it could not get supplies to the victims, the paper's own staff as well as numerous TV reporters got in.
In an "open letter" to President Bush, the paper said: "Despite the city's multiple points of entry, our nation's bureaucrats spent days after last week's hurricane wringing their hands, lamenting the fact that they could neither rescue the city's stranded victims nor bring them food, water and medical supplies."
So, amidst the sufferings, starvations, living in hell with dead bodies around you, all squashed up in a convention centre, the ones who can help continue their little game of finger-pointing. Instead of trying to resolve it all, and co-operate for once. For the sake of the fellow citizens. For the sake of the fellow Americans. For the sake of your own god damn countrymen, women and children alike, wake up and realise it's
about time to get them the help they need.
Lead them away from the misery. They're left stranded there with no instructions. How fabulous is that, eh? To lose everything while trying to save your own life, and now that you've managed to survive, you're not given the help to get out of hell. What's the whole point of struggling to survive in the first place?
And while they can blame each other, and the rest of the world can blame them as a whole. What we really want to see is the people granted the basic needs, and given instructions as to how to get away from hell, isn't it? As the Fox coverage I saw (a link off Lianne's) earlier, it is noted that every caring human being would realise that they should be let out of the convention centre, allowed to get away from that hell. Where are the buses? The trains? The jets? Why lock them up there, allow no medical help, food and water in, yet allow swamps of TV reporters in? If the latter is possible, why should there be difficulties having the former be arranged?
And it's not even like there is
no medical help, food and water. There
are all that. It's just not being distributed to those in the dome, for some godly reason. They are
stuck in the convention centre, not allowed to walk out of town. They have checkpoints set up to turn people back to the city if they try. What the hell is that for?
*HOP HOP HOP HOP HOP HOP HOP!*
Okay, my feet still aches from yesterday. Not forgetting my slippers snapping in the middle of nowhere, hence I walked barefoot on one leg. *pout* The GROUND. The hot ground. Scorching hot ground. Into the cold mall. Before managing to get me a new pair of slippers. How embarrassing. But looking on the bright side, at least I've got a new pair of slippers... (Yea, who am I kidding. It's still embarrassing.)
And oh yeah, I met Melvin yesterday, cos he wanted to pass me my belated birthday gift. Awwwwww, thanks dear!
Anyhow, I wasn't hopping for nothing. The O.C. Season 3 is gonna be shown in the U.S. on 8th September! *HOP!!!* It's been a while. Life has been meaningless without my lovely O.C. :p No maybe not meaningless. But empty enough. *grin*
I just kneeeeeew from the season finale of The O.C., there'd be a new season. I just knew it. I'm a godly genius. *HOP!* But because it isn't gonna be of fab timing to be out, I may stick to watching it on TV... except that it'd only come out months later. Weeeeell, we'll see.
Hola! The O.C.! C'mon, tell me season 3 of One Tree Hill's coming out too, I'd be overjoyed. :p
Studying's been fricking terrible. I'm gonna screw up prelims, really, really badly.
My holidays
as usual isn't being made use of properly. Again. I know it's happening again. That's why I have plans to sleep late tonight to mug. Or alternatively wake up early tomorrow to mug. Likely to go with the latter since I'm feeling very piggy right now.
Though, despite the badly-made-use-of-weekend-and-monday, I had some accomplishments today. I got my brother his birthday gift (more like gifts, but whatever). And I shan't spoil the fun for ANYBODY, so I'll wait till he comes back and has seen the presents before I tell anybody what I got him. I'm not surprised if he gives me a hug and tells me I'm the best sister in the world. Hmm, who am I kidding. He'd probably think I wasted my money. But maybe, just maybe, deeeeeep inside his heart, he'll be gleeful. :p
Yup, no clues. Wait till Friday. Or Saturday.
God damn it, have yet to order his cake. *slight panic*
Hmm? What? Study? Oh yeah, I'll be studying.
I just caught the last episode of One Tree Hill. And I'm about to go ballistic.
There has GOT TO BE a season 3, I swear to god.
There's too many OH-MY-GODs and WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?!?!?!
It CANNOT end with a person showing up at the door and that's that. Poof. Gone. I can practically hear the producers screaming,
"Hahaha wait for the next season, you impatient loser! Or maybe there's no season so the suspense will kill you FOREVER! Hahahhaa loserrrrrr!"I will personally murder those producers if there isn't any season 3. :p
Same goes for The O.C., I will personally go look for Josh Schwartz. That bloody genius writer.
Pah, I'm just
slightly insane today. :) Always beats being freaked out for the prelims. My fear was justified though, cos it sucked so bad. I think I can start to plan to occupy my first 3 months with anything but school cos I mightn't end up anywhere. Not that I want to go anywhere during the first 3 months anyway. When the stupid policy was implemented, for us to have our first 3 months off, I was delighted. And then it
had to be changed back. Bloody policy-makers.
Hmm?
Oh yea I cried during the last episode of One Tree Hill. I bawled my eyes out for the past 2 season finales for The O.C. so that's no surprise I guess.
Fear Pounces Through The Entrance... Into Me
song: Third Eye Blind - Semi-Charmed LifeI'm
shit scared of the prelims. It's only struck me today. I'm freaked out. It's gonna be another series of exams I'm not prepared for. I'm so worried I'm moody all over again. I'd better be pms-ing, I'm telling ya. The fluctuating moods are not really any good signs - not when they come and go as and when they wish. I'm shit scared.
I need a hug.
