ramblings, basically.

Song: A1 - Scared

The one thing that I'm scared of is losing hold of you
I get the shivers down my spine, feel my body turning blue
The feeling is so frightening, it's driving me insane
The one thing that I'm scared of is losing hold of you

Man, I miss those a1 songs. Tomorrow, Living the Dream... lovely singing them again! :D

There's something wrong with my brain these days, I swear. Just a little bit of challenge in school, I end up going home with a headache that won't leave until I get at least 5hours of sleep at night, only then would I wake up to find the headache gone. Something's wrong! Hmm...

AND, I'm putting on weight again. Haha, shucks. I think the thing people say about having enough sleep helps weight loss is true! Ugh. I need to jog again soon. And cycle! Somebody, go cycling with me!!!

And as the week is ending, i'm constantly mentally reminding myself - 2 weeks to o's prac, 4 weeks to o's. Holy shit, that's so soon! *switches to panic mode* I hardly see 4 weeks as sufficient time. Yet, when it comes to usual exams I only start studying like a 2weeks (max) before. This is baaaad. :p

But since today we didn't receive any papers (and unlikely tomorrow either) I was in a much better mood. Much, much better mood. Went home with a much better mood too. If we're getting literature elective paper back tomorrow, I don't think I'd be leaving school that happily. Yet there's no logic in delaying the bad news, since I'm gonna need time to snap out of it once it hits me. Gah. Unleash all of them now, I can deal with them quicker!

Anyway was doing this QSE (no idea what it stands for) survey today at school. It's regarding our views on the school. There was this bit on whether we think the school's helped us in gaining self-confidence. To think about it, it definitely has helped a whole lot! In sec 1 I was this meek (scaredy), quiet (introverted introvert), innocent (gullible) girl who feared anything and everything. I wanted to be invisible half the time, didn't like mixing around much. I squeaked my way through sec 1, keeping all to myself, not wanting to respond in class, not wanting to take up any forms of responsibilities, wanted to not be known in school at all. Just look through me like you see nothing, please!

Nearing the end of the 4th year, I see myself mixing around a lot more. Speaking up a whole lot more. I raise questions, thoughts and views a whole lot more. I still do fear a lot of things but it doesn't mean I'm a wimp cos I usually tide through it anyway - sometimes on my own. With a huge truck of experience I gained from this school, I don't see myself opening up like that if I were in some other school - co-ed schools mainly. So, I may say bad things about single-ed schools cos it does have its bad points, like people getting extremely wild. Who's to say single-ed schools have more 'wild' people than co-ed schools anyway? I thought so, until I heard stories from co-ed schools. :p So, if given a choice, I think I would send my child to a single-ed secondary school. Primary school should be a given opportunity to mix around a little more. I know I hated guys in primary school (lol some people sure know about this)! I guess it'd be better to join a school with guys when they've umm stabilised in the maturity level. *chuckle* The whole so-and-so likes so-and-so rubbish in school can drive me nuts!

Anyhow I think I'm really gonna miss being able to sit with our legs open, whether we're wearing shorts or not, anywhere around in school at the end of the year. I'm gonna miss screaming at friends, calling one another a bimbo. I'm gonna miss sitting around in class with a whole bunch of friend bitching about some people on tv, and ogling at some hottie on tv together. While I know that can continue wherever I go next year, it's gonna be less, and weird cos we'll be judged by other *snicker* gender around with *snicker* varying maturity.

*cough* I'm sorry I don't have the resistance against immature guys. I have this huge thing against them. :)

Anyhow, can't quite imagine how it'll be like next year. I'm gonna miss my friends dearly. :( And of course we'll tell each other to keep in contact. But who's to know what'll happen when you're blown away to different schools, with crazy schedules and tests and exams! It'll definitely be tougher when you used to see each other everyday...

posted by sh @ 8:01 pm