ramblings, basically.

I'm currently typing on this really weirdly shaped keyboard that's really nice to type on, glancing upon this mega huge and wide monitor screen wondering what the hell I'm doing. :)

This morning I woke up at 8, wondering if I should go jogging but what's new... I'm too lazy to. So I just got online, waiting for my msn list to slowly fill up with schoolmates online eager as hell to check their PAE posting. I was terrified because the devil inside my head wasn't making me feel very good about myself. I had a funny feeling I was gonna be posted to the school across the road which isn't bad at all but I don't know of anyone who's aiming to get in there. Furthermore I can see my house from school and that gives some sort of stress to me. Sounds weird, I know. But somehow I wasn't that keen on getting there anymore. But I had a feeling my results wasn't good enough!

What was worse was that when I was ready to see my results, the screen kept saying the results would be available on 16th Dec from 10am. And when I wasn't ready to see the results anymore, people kept flocking online to tell me the results are already out. Bixia was trying to make us check the results together by clicking at the same time and what not but I was such a wuss. In the end she told me she's gotten into TJ so finally I took a hugeeee breath and clicked the "submit" button staring back at me for ages and found myself overjoyed with the results. I screamed and my brother nonchalantly went "Ssssshhh..." and went back to bed - that annoying bugger. I delightedly told my mum and jumped for joy as she gave me that sheepish grin cos she knew I wanted to make it there.

And the best part of it is, I realised how many beloved people are going there too. :D My worry about surviving the next year is slightly less. Only slightly. Still not looking forward to school. Still not looking forward to the new year. And not looking forward to having to make new friends and wonder which of them I can actually trust.

It sucks when you gotta make new friends and find those you can trust. I mean it's easy to make friends casually. When the sociable soul within reveals itself, I can make friends easily okay. I just need the mood to wanna talk to people. BUT, it always takes a hell damn long time to figure out who you can rely on, who you can continue hanging out with and who you can't. And waiting isn't what I enjoy, really.

But with the bunch of people who are entering the JC with me, well... they're just gonna have to make do with the clingy ol' me for a while. HEH.

I am still glad. :) Can't believe I made it. I actually did!

posted by sh @ 1:40 pm