Recently I witnessed a person cry after being reminded of the granddad's death a few years ago. Despite being 'a few years' later, I guess people never really completely get over the loss of a loved one's life.
And I feel extremely bad when things like that happen. Out of sympathy perhaps - for them and for myself. For them because they lost someone so dear to them. Self-pity because... well, I've never experienced that. It's not that I
want to lose someone I love. It's definitely not like,
god take them away from me, quick, quick! No, it's definitely not.
But sometimes I wonder if it's a loss... not to lose someone. Perhaps because I haven't lost anyone, I may be taking the people around for granted. Like it's a lack, on my part, of experience - of falling. And climbing back up again.
Because I've never been really hurt, I've never felt like, hey that made me a stronger person. I never really got the chance, I guess. And this sounds weird I know. It's not like I
want to be hurt. I just wonder if I'd be different if it happened. It's just the usual thousand and one
What-Ifs. We wonder...
Let's just say it's not entirely true I've not witnessed any death. The only deaths in the family are that of my paternal granddad, my 5th uncle and my maternal grandma. I never got to see my paternal granddad or my 5th uncle. I don't feel their loss because I have a maternal granddad and a paternal grandma, and I'm never close to grandparents anyways.
I wonder if it's odd to say, I wish I had experience. I wish I could say, "Been there, done that" and give an
ah-that's-no-biggie-I've-gone-through-that-before expression when something like that happens. I wonder.
6 Comments:
sounds weird but i've wondered about that too. but losing someone i love, i mean really really love, is not something that i want to happen.
haha glad to know i'm not the only one.
and noone in their right state of minds would want to lose someone they really, really love. ;-)
hmm.talk to me about it huang and i'll tell you all about it..and trust me..you wouldn't want to go thru it..dun ever think of it girl..dun ever..i rather you not understand wad its like den actually experience sth like dat..to illustrate..its even worse den erm..let me think..its worse then eating faeces..lol..kk..nono..wells you get the idea yeah.. =)
hmm i guess it's a... when you've not gone through it, you wonder what it would be like. but when you've gone through it, you dont ever want to go through it... thing.
it is like that. this is something that you'll never know til it hits you. to be awfully realistic, the day will come.
but before it does, perish that thought and appreciate what you have around you now. or WHO to be precise. :)
mmhmm, i know i'm gonna hate myself for saying such shiat when the day comes. i'm just voicing current thoughts that's all. :)
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