Warning: This isn't gonna be one of those cheery posts. Neither is it gonna make a lot of sense. It's just one of those days...
It's a gloomy Sunday, it really is. The sky's overcrowded with clouds turning grey. The air is cool, like it's gonna pour in a second. It's quiet. My parents are up. My granny's at the market. My brother's asleep. There's no one online. And I haven't exactly spoken to anyone since yesterday. Except my brother, perhaps, when he drowned me with more lame stuff and made me laugh my ass off.
Okay so maybe my ass is still intact.
Anyway, I had a bad dream last night. It was kind of a nightmare. It wasn't scary in the sense that my heart would skip a beat and all, and I'd suddenly jump out of bed, breaking into cold sweat and all. It's just scary at the thought of it? And it isn't the first time I've dreamt of something along those lines. Except now it is slightly more... real. I woke up really scared. Yet knowing there's nobody to tell because it's in the wee hours. Only people I know are awake... well, I don't think I should bug her/him/them.
Yeah so I woke up at 5.30am on a Sunday. I tried to get back to sleep but I didn't like the idea of possibly dreaming of that again. So after lazing around a bit, I got out of bed and wandered around the house, making breakfast while my mum was just about to get up. Then I just brought breakfast to my room and found myself wondering what I'm doing for most bits. I was a bit... lost. I don't think I've felt this lost in a long, long time.
Oh well, it's just one of those days you wish is over in a jiffy so a brand new day could begin. Yet it feels like time is crawling. It's been so long and it's only 9am. Kinda wished I had somewhere to go. Feel like yelling at my brother to get up so I can have some comic relief. :p
Maybe I should.
That being said, I absolutely love Alanis Morissette's Hand In My Pocket.
I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby
I care but I'm restless
I'm here but I'm really gone
I'm hard but I'm friendly
I'm sad but I'm laughing
I'm brave but I'm chickenshit
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