sports day was pretty inactive today. apart from little and few moments in between that i had pretty good laughs, it was all kind of boring. though going out with ida and audrey later on for lunch was amusing. :p then they left to catch a movie, while i decided to go home, to give everyone less reasons to bark at me. (read title)
and i am rather sick of people asking me to study hard. or harder. if it was something you personally feel it's essential to let me know that, fine. please do not tell me that again and again like you're programmed to, and butt in to every single affair. like when i go out, you'll start asking me where i went to, reason for it, who i was with, what time i was out and back. it is getting annoying.
and it's sad cos i did like you. for every reason except when you bug everyone with the whole grades thing.
moreover, it doesn't work very well trying to force logic into my head that i should study as hell. cos it only works when i do it of my own accord. and i've been doing that for the past few years. i do suppose it works well when i want it to. with that, it means i need motivation, and the desire to study. and the more you make me do it, the more i don't feel like doing it, it just completely backfires. it's not great, at all.
and the fear is that bad, i end up dreaming about it last night, complete nightmare, only that i slept through it cos i needed the sleep.
and so perhaps the main thing was about the lie, but it's everything else which adds to it, that i don't want to ever have to face you again.
ugh this is annoying. i should lock myself in my room tonight to study and ensure no matter who comes, i'm not gonna bother.
yes, happy april fools day. (no the above wasn't a joke)
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home